Still Goin Strong on Specific Carbohydrate Diet

Well hello! I've been on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (lifestyle) since January 15th...5 months this week. That's kinda crazy to think about. When I first encountered the diet, I thought "There's no way I could do that and only live off of that food". But I dove in head first, and started the intro diet of chicken soup and burger patties and carrot puree, and took it one day at a time. Just to recap, the diet consists of eating only meat, veggies, fruits, nuts, and healthy fats. I eat grain free, dairy free, soy free, sugar free, nightshade free, primarily egg free, and processed food free. If you're wondering, well what the heck do you eat?? I'll share more of that in another post. :) It's basically along the lines of Paleo eating. Here's a lovely graphic.

Now it's 5 months later, and I'm still kickin. I'll be honest, I never thought I would stick with it this long. And I'll be even more honest....I don't know what I'm doing and why I'm still doing it. Have I seen an improvement in my health and digestion? It's hard to tell. I guess so. At least I've been hospital free for a year, and feeding tube free for 6 months!

The only thing I know is that I've maintained my weight at about 121 lbs for a couple months now, which is good. My gastroenterologist keeps tabs on me every couple months, and thinks I'm on the right path. He looks at me and says, Man, you look like you just got out of a concentration camp! But he's really supportive and good, and says that he thinks my problems all stem from my esophagus surgery complications, and it'll just take time to heal. He says that if anyone claimed to know exactly what's wrong with me, they'd be lying. He says it like it is.

It's true...nobody or their mom has been able to figure me out. I would love to have a diagnosis. I really wish I knew what exactly was going on in my body. I continue to have a bloated stomach, and weird distended instestines that I can feel through my skin. I used to be able to feel the ripples of a 6 pack, and now I feel ripples of my small intestine. Kinda gross. I have some serious distasis recti, which is common in women who have recently given birth. So I really need to crack down and work on my core, and try to get those ab muscles to grow back together.

Don't ask me what's going on with my hair- I have NO idea why it's still falling out. It's the most depressing part of this whole ordeal. I feel like it's the one thing that "gives away" that I'm sick. And I don't have a good excuse for having almost no hair...I simply can't explain it. Malnutrition and malabsorption? Still?? I'm debating whether or not to bite the bullet and wear a wig. I don't know if it would make me feel more stupid and self-conscious, or if it would give me a boost of confidence. Any advice? What would you do if you were me?

My eyes still have Iritis, that darned inflammatory disease, for which I had to take steroid drops for awhile. The steroid drops in turn formed cataracts in my eyes, which usually don't show up until old age. Lucky me. I have to have surgery to get the cataracts removed in both eyes, at the end of this summer. I'm kinda nervous to have eye surgery! I think we're going to spring for some special lenses that will improve my eyesight so that I won't have to wear glasses anymore. That would be lovely!

My feet and legs still itch all the time, I get muscle cramps in my hands and feet regularly, and wake up almost daily with a charlie horse in my calf. Annoying! I still have hypersensitivity in my feet, so whenever something touches them, I jump. But the weird thing is, I can't really feel them. When I try to jog even a few steps, it feels like I'm clomping on lead blocks. I'm afraid I'll fall on my face. I get heartburn pretty much daily, which is frustrating because I thought by taking stomach acid pills and digestive enzymes, I'd get it under control. Apparently, fluid leaks into my lungs and I have slight aspiration, due to my dumb esophagus, and it makes me cough every day. Jake and I are debating whether to get an adjustable bed, cuz I guess the wedge pillow just isn't cuttin' it.

ANYwho....that's what's up with me. I'm just so tired of walking around everyday, feeling like a huge weight is pressing on my stomach. I'm tired of not knowing why. But the thing that bothers me the most is how it's affecting me psychologically and emotionally. I don't like what it's done to me. I get angry so easily these days...I have a temper....I have so little patience. And it's so frustrating. It makes me sad. I don't want to be this way! I don't want my sweet girls to grow up with a mom who yells and has no patience or energy or joy.  I don't want my husband to have a moody, unkind wife. And I know I can control this, but somehow it is SO hard. I need help. I need to learn to deal with my emotions in a better way, and to let myself be sad instead of angry all the time.

Don't worry, I'm still doing ok. I have a strong testimony and faith in Heavenly Father's plan for me. I have SO much to be thankful for, and so many blessings and wonderful supportive people in my life. I feel like a broken record, cuz it seems like I've written like 5 identical posts to this in the past 2 years. The fact is, I'm doing pretty much the same, but just wanted to give an update and write down what's on my mind. I feel dumb when people ask me how I'm doing, and I just have to kinda say "ohhh same ol' same ol!" But I'm here, and that's what matters.